Dem. Convention: It's Over.....

WRAPPING UP THE CONVENTION

It's officially over, and Mr. Obama is officially the Democratic Presidential Candidate.

Before I start reviewing the convention, I'd like to just interject and reflect on the feat that we just nominated a black man for our presidential candidate.

I think it's important to stop, step back for a second and really think about what has happened. Regardless of your party affiliation, I hope you can revel in the fact that we as a country appear ready to elect a black president. To me, the best part of America is the American Dream; the idea that you can do anything you dream of if you work hard and persevere, regardless of who you are. Barack Obama's ascendancy personifies that ideal and seeks to erase the ugliness of racism and bigotry. And that is something that can give us all hope, and pride. I am proud of America.

Anyhow, America some other time, for now it's back to the Democratic Convention, and it's candidate: Barack Obama.

The convention began following bad news for Obama: his once substantial lead on McCain had shrunk to almost a dead heat, with some polls showing McCain actually up by one or two points. Pollsters and pundits disagree on what caused this shift; but most agreed the public needed to "get to know" Barack better, which the Democratic Convention sought to do.

It's setting of Denver, Colorado underscored Obama's efforts to re-draw the electoral map by making inroads into the traditionally republican Mountain West. Conversely, the Republican Convention will be held in the Democratic-leaning Minnesota next week.

MONDAY

Monday was initiated by speeches from Ted Kennedy and Michelle Obama. Kennedy's speech was noteworthy because he is battling brain cancer and hasn't been seen publicly since his diagnosis. Nonetheless he came. His speech referenced a 1980 convention speech in which he famously stated "the dream will never die," saying Monday to "keep the dream alive." This was a political passing of the torch, from the old leadership of the party to the new leadership, and riled long-time democratic activists. I didn't think it was as "emotional" as did other observers, but that could be due to my icy cold heart. Kennedy was introduced by his niece Caroline Kennedy, the only surviving child of JFK, who may or may not be entering politics.

Michelle Obama's speech was wonderful, in my mind. Michelle Obama has been dodging accusations that question her patriotism, as well as right-wing rumors about her throwing around the racial epithet "whitey." Basically, she should be a beloved national figure, and she's not. Michelle is a successful, strong black professional woman who does not fit America's pedigree as first lady. This confounds some Americans whose disapproval manifests as these rumors, i think.

Anyhow her speech painted her as the lovable family mom, who loves her daughters, just a down-home girl. When she finally said "....and that's why I love my country!" the crowd rose to a standing ovation. The image her her and her daughters saying hi to satellite - Obama really drove it home: This could be our next first family.

TUESDAY

Tuesday's headliner was the ancily-awaited Hilary Clinton. Her major task was to try to pursued her 18 million supporters to back Obama, as recent polls showed 30% of them still uncommitted. Her speech was praised by the media, but I wasn't as impressed.

If her task was to big-up Obama, why did she talk about herself for 90% of the time? Now that I think about it, there was very little memorable about it, even if it did make Bill Clinton cry.

One thing I thought was weird was when she said "And Barack Obama believes that" and then she just outlined her own health care plan, which is different from his. But whatever, she did her duty, I guess.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday featured Bill Clinton, who I thought had a better speech than Hilary. He said "Last night, Hilary told you in no uncertain terms that she will do everything she can to elect Barack Obama....that makes two of us. Actually, that makes 18 million of us." Memorable and simple. Good Speech.

I didn't stick around to hear Joe Biden's VP speech, but I'm sure it was feisty and full of attacks on McCain, which is essentially what he was hired to do.

THURSDAY

Barack Obama made his acceptance speech at Broncos Stadium in front of a crowd of 75,000, on the 40th anniversary of Dr. King;s I Have a Dream speech. The standards were impossibly high, but he performed decently- the media loved it, and it was a strong speech.

I am a fan of Obama's itellectual/ rhetorical speeches, and this one was very much centered around policy and attacking McCain, which was really his only choice, at this venue. He said "America: we're better than the last eight years." which was pretty memmorable. Good enough.

The convention was also dotted with celebrity entertainers, including Stevie Wonder, The Black Eyed Peas, Sheryl Crow, and John Legend.

I find it extremely odd that Daddy Yankee, the Puerto Rican reggaeton musician who's always rapping about pussy, is performing next week at the Republican Convention. Apparently he is a republican and backs McCain...maybe he'll rap that 'Gasolina' song where he talks about how the girls can't get enough of his "gasoline".....apparently McCain can't get enough of his gasoline.

It will be interesting to see what kind of a poll bounce Obama will get...McCain is announcing his VP choice tomorrow, an effort to squash any news domination Obama would receive from his speech, and also to defer news stories about his birthday, which could renew concerns about his age: 72.

One last note about these convetions, look at the differences in the stages at the republican and democratic conventions:

DEMOCRAT STAGE | REPUBLICAN STAGE

The democratic stage looks like it could be a set from American Idol. The republican stage looks like something circa 1941 Germany, except for the huge American flag.

Alright that's more than enough campaign stuff for me.......PEACE

Ben Stiller: NOT FUNNY

I just want to get this off my chest: Ben Stiller is not funny.

I was astounded to read the countless reviews of the recently released Tropic Thunder, a product of Stiller's, not only because they were generally praiseful, but that many seem to regard Stiller of something of a comic genius, up there with the greats.

Ben Stiller has never been funny.

His comic spark comes from being the 'normal guy.' He is the 'normal guy' who is only funny because of his reactions to the surrounding chaos and comedy in the same way that David Spade was funny as being the "normal guy" next to the inanity of Chris Farley, although Spade is far more talented than Stiller.

All of Stiller's supposed comic peaks (think: eying semen in Cameron Diaz' hair, taking Robert De Niro's over-the-top lie-detector test) have involved Stiller trying to stay straight faced, cool, i.e. 'normal' in the face of unbelievable sillyness. His proximity to other comic talents tricks people into thinking he, in fact, is funny. But being normal isn't funny. That's just normal.

And I know people always say, "But what about Zoolander? What about Zoolander?" To these people I say: if you really think carefully about the movie, you'll realize that his character was funny, not Stiller himself. Stiller isn't capable of anything explicitly funny.

If you desire further proof go watch Tropic Thunder, which was co-written and directed by Stiller. Aside from the cameos by Tom Cruise, and a few other quick laughs, the movie was pretty bad. Watching it was an interesting peek into Stiller's chronically unfunny mind.

First off, it was incredibly self-indulgent. Just because it's 'making fun' of Hollywood, it's still about Hollywood and is thus a vehicle for these same actors to carry out their bloated caricatures yet again. But whatever.

The supposed comic climax comes in a scene when Robert Downey Jr. (who rather pointlessly plays a black man) explains to Ben Stiller the merits of playing a "retard" in Hollywood while repeating the word over and over.

I can just see Stiller, sitting up in his Unfunny Throne thinking "hmm, yeah, kids say 'retard' these days; that's the lingo. That's it! I'll totally use that in my movie and that will make it funny, and it will prove I'm still down." Well, Ben, it was incredibly unfunny and it felt very forced. If Downey can't even make it funny, then you suck.

Anyhow, I could talk more about the movie, but I won't...

As Stiller ages, I predict he will go to further lengths to stay in the comedic spotlight. He clearly needs, personally, to be in this spotlight.

This is one fall from grace that's not going to be pretty to watch...nor funny.

Weird California

California is weird. I remember growing up, my dad would always say: "You're going to end up in California; you're a California guy."

Then I would get mad and be like "No, no. I'm going to be on the East Coast!" I imagined myself in Boston or New York. In my mind I was going to go to Harvard or one of those schools and then become a roller coaster designer. That was my dream job for most of my childhood: a roller coaster designer.

Needless to say, life turned out differently. Here I am, in California, which I love, by the way, but which I also must note is a bit weird.

The weekend started off typically weird in California, with some very strange men holding a press conference in Palo Alto about their "Bigfoot" discovery. They preempted the meeting by releasing some strange looking photos of a Bigfoot carcass they said they had preserved on ice:



Unfortunately for us Bigfoot enthusiasts, they offered no evidence whatsoever at the meeting, and were quickly thereafter revealed to have staged Bigfoot hoaxes in the past. An online costume company also made a statement saying the photo looked suspiciously similar to a Bigfoot body costume they sold on their website...

My friend Matt said it best: why would you even stage that? It's like literally you get your 15 minutes, but its not even 15 minutes of something good, it's like 15 minutes of you being an idiot, and then people remember you as a douche bag for the rest of your life.

I'm still holding out for proof of Bigfoot.

Then, earlier this weekend, in busy downtown San Francisco, people found an adult manta ray flapping around Market Street, which finally died in the hot sun:


I don't really know what to think about this. I assume someone put the manta ray there, although whom or for what reason....? Maybe someone just threw it out their car while driving, discarding it like one would a cigarette butt. But I wouldn't get to close to it, I mean, next month is the two-year anniversary of the late Steve Irwin's untimely death by stingray. I, for one, do not trust these animals.

Anyhow I thought that was weird.

Then on Saturday evening, in Southern California (Orange County) some famous pastor, Rick Warren, who runs the nation's largest Evangelical church, also in California, hosted a live forum between pres. contenders Barack Obama and John McCain.

Obama spent Sunday in San Francisco, I believe.

interjection: George Bush has never visited San Francisco as president. He will be the first modern president never to have visited the city. San Franciscans will vote on an official measure to rename its municipal sewage plant the "George W. Bush Sewage Plant" in November.

Anyhow, I didn't watch this televised forum but I heard that Obama underperformed. Anyone who has been watching his campaign lately knows that he's been stumbling. I'll hold off on too much criticism and just hope the convention helps him out a bit. McCain apparently came off as something of a war-czar...and he has been more and more pro-war seeming lately. He made some particularly belligerent comments about Russia last week...

Grampa's gonna have to calm down unless he wants a time out.

In other political news it was revealed today, Sunday, that the LDS Church has decited to mobolize for the passage of California's Proposition 8, which would ban gay marriage in California. The LDS is a hugely moneyed and deeply organized machine so this could potentially be pretty important.

It's weird, I find myself defending Mormons more often then not. I feel like they get picked on for their eccentricities while many other Christians get a free ride. They're somewhat of an easy target.

But you must fight fire with fire. This Prop. 8 business is going to get ugly, and if the Mormons want a fight, they will get one. I mean, a Missionary vs. a Bulldyke, I think we all know who would win there.

Hey Mormons: If you want to play hardball, I'm game!

Meanwhile the Bay Area was taken over by the mammoth Hip-Hop Festival Rock the Bells. I missed it but I'm sure it was amazing. One of my friends ran into Mos Def at a gallery earlier today, and apparently they were both wearing the same Member's Only jacket!! Sooo awesome!

So yeah it's weird here but it's exciting and stimulating and inspiring too. They say San Francisco is the City on the Edge of the World...and as we all know I like living on the edge. ZIIIIIIIINNNNGGG!!!

In the works....

I have begun to work on an idea that's been on the back burner for a while; writing a short story. Without giving too much away, the story will focus the life of a pregnant serial killer. Obviously, it's going to be a bit "weird" but hopefully funny, exciting, or suspenseful, or a combination of these things...

Barack is a f**cking a**hole

Barack. I thought I had friends! Tonight is a friday in San Francisco and there were two unrelated groups of friends who I couldn't call because I got into uncivil debates defending you...and effectively suspended my friendships with them! And for what?? Remind me why I'm supporting you? So you can spy on us? Expand faith programs? Support gun rights? ...you get the point.

As many have said, it's one thing to move to the right, it's another to change the spirit of your candidacy. And unfortunately, it's a surprise to no one that for the first time in the general election, today the CNN Poll of Polls has indicated a shift towards McCain that reduces your lead to a mere 1% advantage.

Barack, get your shit together. Your popularity was based on action away from the status quo from the very beginning. It is a fatal mistake to run a traditional campaign at this point. Get back to your roots and refocus... for all of us.