RACIST!!

Everytime I return to Boise, Idaho, I am pleased too see a more and more ethnic city. Of course, Boise is still overwhelmingly white and will always be a 'mountain west' town, but seeing a little color in my home town makes me happy. And, thankfully, there never seemed to be any tension with this growth....

Then one night, with a group of people walking by a popular downtown bar, a one friend says to another "You're going to have to put that hat on straight if you go in there."

Confused, I asked more and found out that this particular bar, Mac and Charlie's, enforces a seemingly anti-African-American dress code:

No Doo Rags
Excessively Baggy Clothing
Team Jersey's
Wife Beaters
Hats on Straight (Front or Back)
Any Attire deemed unfit by Door Staff

Now, when I asked the bouncer he said it was deter fights, and alluded to gangs. However, Boise does not have a gang problem and frankly the few fights I've seen in Boise have been between drunk BSU jocks.

The only Boiseans I've seen that dress the way alluded to in the 'dress code' are African Americas; in other words, Boise does not have a sect of white youth that dress in the urban black style, so this sign seems clearly aimed at blacks.

Thus, I can only assume there are sinister undertones. Racist? Obviously not overtly so, but the first blatant sign I've seen of possible tension...

Whippety Wack!!

I don't really know how to start talking about the new Indiana Jones. Primary because my own viewing experience was ruined by watching Peter Traver's video review of the movie, in which he (apparently because of his pissed-offedness from the film's crappiness) gives away a crucial plot surprise. I guess he didn't want people to see it.

I still think people should see it. I mean, people like to talk shit; especially critics. If we listened to all the warnings we heard about the world, sure we might not get pregnant or get STDs, but we would miss out on some pretty good adventures, too. As a friend of mine once told me about the dangers of Oakland, California; "Sure, Oakland's got a death toll, but it's got a life toll, too."

So how much life is there in the new Indiana Jones flick?

[realizes glass is half empty]

The movie hella sucked balls. A sad day for the franchise, indeed. And I had such high hopes...

I don't know how to pinpoint exactly what went wrong with the new Indie, especially without giving anything away. Most easily put: there wasn't any reason to make it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those anti-franchise commies that go around hating on all remakes. I mean: Rocky, Harry Potter, Friday the 13th, Batman...they keep rolling out good flicks again and again. But they don't keep saying the same thing over and over- and even if they do, they say it in a different way.

While watching Indie IV, I saw the same actors from the same movies doing the same stunts, saying the same shit, and even having the same relationships with basically the same friends and enemies as I had before, when it was actually fresh: sixteen years ago. Even the sets looked curiously similar.

I think what happened is that Lucas and Spielberg just wanted to make more money. Everything from the dialog to the plot to the acting seems so forced and scripted that the whole thing just feels like an afterbirth. They had a chance to inject some energy with newcomer Shia LaBeouf, but all he does is act like a dumb sidekick the whole time.

All my friends kept talking about how bad it was going to be, and I was the one who was still excited. And there are some good things about it, to be sure. They just got flushed down the drain with the rest of it.

Fuck the Pope

So where is the Pope this week and what is he doing? Acting on the recent natural disasters in Burma and China that have killed more than 100,000 and 50,000 people, respectively, you ask? As the 'humanitarian' and 'world leader' that Catholics and others like to exalt him as, one might think so. But no, he's spent his energy on more pressing matters.

Speaking in a meeting organized for several European institutions the day after California's supreme court ruling that legalized gay marriage in California, Pope Benedict spoke out pointedly against gay marriage, saying, among other things, that the "good" of heterosexual marriage must not be "substituted by, confused with, or compared to other types of unions." He also stated that the "non-traditional" families are not "the natural cradle of human life."

Now, I try to apply the tenants of tolerance in all directions; that is- not just to racial, sexual, and cultural minorities, but also to those that urban liberals themselves like to lambaste- to Republicans, to "hicks," to Christians. Even though I have major problems with The Church, for instance, I've tried to be fair about my criticisms, especially in the public sphere.

But a flash point occurs when your respect for a figure's title and reverence is surpassed by the damage you see rising from their power.

Pope Benedict is a decrepit, bigoted, Naziish (as in served in Germany's Nazi Party) piece of shit whose backwards thinking angers me. That the Catholics would elect him as their leader is, depressingly, not a surprise. This is the church, after all, that has been on the wrong side of human progress for 1,000 years, from discoveries in astronomy and chemistry back in the day, to medical gene therapy, AIDS in Africa, gay rights, and women's rights today.

What is distressing to me isn't that another old crazy in the Vatican thinks differently about marriage than I. It's the Vatican's venomous, ever-increasing reach into public policy. In California, for instance, I assume that at least a million voters are significantly impacted by such statements from the Pope. And with a statewide ballot slated for November aiming to again make gay marriage illegal, these speeches have a hugely negative impact. Not to mention their strengthening of general homophobia which manifests in prejudice and violence.

The timing of such statements in the wake of double catastrophic disasters in China and Burma make them all the more maddening. Even Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been in close touch with Chinese officials offering condolences and help in the wake of their country's devastating earthquake. Where the fuck were you, Pope Benedict?

Burma, in particular, would have been a place the Pope could have used his power for good. Other than a brief telegram, we heard nothing from the Vatican on this. Now we have scores dying from lack of life support. The Burmese leaders, tragically stubborn and distrustful of foreigners, are literally turning away food and aid while thousands die within. This is a critical time for institutions like the U.N., like the NGOs, like The Vatican to impel leaders to do the right thing; to let in aid.

I'll admit that such a plea probably wouldn't have changed anything, but the fact that there wasn't one at all reveals a startling mismatch of priorities by The Church.

Actually, to be fair, The Church did release one more major statement during this tragic week (in addition to the anti-gay rhetoric). What was it: Earthquakes or Hurricanes? Actually neither, but that it is now OK to believe in aliens. Yes, aliens as in extra-terrestrials...

It's crazy and it should be funnier than it is.

Psychology 101 al la Romantic Comedy.

I just saw Forgetting Sarah Marshal, the latest Male Romantic Comedy to grace the Silver Screen. It was very good- 8.5 out of 10!


This movie chronicles the tale of a recently dumped dude who decides to vacation in Hawaii where his bitch ex girlfriend, coincidentally, is also vacationing with her new Rock-and-Roll celebrity boyfriend. He spends his time on the island crying a lot, making friends with some zany locals, meeting a new cute, carefree girl who works at the front desk, and making some serious decisions about life and love.

Without ruining anything, this is a happy ending movie, and I love happy endings. And although I haven't personally been through a painful breakup lately, or ever, sometimes it's important to believe in love and destiny, however gay that sounds.

I find it interesting that this particular group of guys got together and have made a bunch of, basically, love story movies. We as Americans tend to...emasculate the love narrative as something of a trivial, female frivolity. Do we make love stories here? Love is IN our movies, but rarely the driving force. We have Disney Love Epics (Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin; basically any Disney movie) Historical Love Epics (Titanic, Troy, Pearl Harbor, Last of the Mohicans) action flick lovers (Braveheart, The Matrix, The Fifth Element) Romantic Comedies (As Good as it Gets, Pretty Woman) and more and more lately, the Male Romantic Comedy (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, Forgetting Sarah Marshall).

Late in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a character makes a brief, yet revealing, self-referential statement when talking about a show he wrote and produced: "I didn't even know it was a comedy until people started telling me it was funny."

So maybe, after all, the boys behind this recent spate of movies are just a bunch of single guys moping around L.A. waiting for love to come around in just the right way, who happen to be funny. I certainly know many straight guys who sit around playing video games, talking shit, ordering pizza, and farting who want nothing more than to fall in love with the types of girls you see in these movies. These girls awaken their spirits; they force them to try an extreme sport or give them the confidence they need to just, you know, quit that hated day job and turn that lifelong hobby/ passion into a dream career. These girls fix their lives.

In my view, people can't fix each other, but it is nonetheless heartwarming to see such a happily idealized tale played out on screen. That's why we go to the movies, right, to escape? Of course, this all from me, a single dude with his own hangups. Maybe I should write a movie about it?

NOPE!

'IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, MOTHERFUCKER.'

It shouldn't be that surprising that Hilary Clinton will not be bowing out of the race today; she is a Clinton after all. She appears to be changing her strategy yet again, making strong pro-female statements in her non-concession speech today, apparently hoping that hoards of women will rescue her from certain castration.

ABOUT WOMEN:

"Democrats need to understand that women are the core of this party!"

Umm...?

ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S RESULTS:

"Last night we won a great rebound victory!"

Uhh...?

ABOUT FLORIDA & MICHIGAN
"Democrats need to know that the seating of the Florida and Michigan is a Civil Rights Issue!"
Hmm...

As you can see from these unique observations, Hilary is a resilient candidate who has a special view of her candidacy. In other words: she is living in la-la-land.


For now we'll leave it at that. And check on the girl later.

Will Clinton quit Tomorrow?

Late tonight, here is what we know after the final Indiana and North Carolina primary results.

STANDINGS

*Hilary Clinton can no longer win the popular vote, with or without Florida/ Michigan.
*Hilary Clinton will no longer win the most delegates.
*Hilary can no longer win the most number of states.

RESULTS

*Barack Obama won North Carolina by 14 points
*Hilary Clinton won Indiana by 1.5 points**

**Exit polling revealed 11% of Clinton voters in Indiana's open primary were "hardcore Republicans" (i.e. Conservatives who will not vote Democrat in the general election. Rush Limbaugh and others have encouraged Republicans to vote for Clinton in order to prolong the Dem. primaries.)

SO???

So even if Hilary wins her friendly states of West Virginia and Kentucky in the next few weeks, Obama should sweep the three final states of South Dakota, Montana, and Oregon. In other words, Clinton's standing on July 3 will be the same or worse than it is today. There is a special meeting scheduled for May 31 concerning the unseated Florida/ Michigan delegates but it's unlikely any solution could push Clinton into the delegate lead.

TO BOOT

To boot, expect Obama to roll out as many as fifteen new superdelegates in the next two days, racking up the pressure on Clinton to bow out.

ALSO: Aides say Clinton's campaign is out of money, again, and this time it will be very difficult to raise more funds.

CONCLUSION

Barack Obama is the Democratic Nominee; Clinton may bow out as early as tomorrow (she has canceled all her morning television appearances). If not then, then presumably sometime soon. Of course, we all know the Clintons are resilient streetfighters so they may stick around for a while.

But at this point she is out of options.

NEXT STEP??

Obama Vs. Marshmallow Man.

I am curious to see how many points of a boost Obama will get exactly three weeks after Hilary drops out. Current Gallup Tracking: McCain 46%, Obama 45%.

Kentucky Derby Downer!!

If politics is the ultimate horse race, then today's Kentucky Derby results did not bode well for Sen. Clinton!!

Hilary's pick to win the famous Kentucky Derby (who she encouraged her supporters to bet on AND compared her candidacy to the only female horse running in the race) finished second place, took a violent fall upon the finish line, broke two ankles and was euthanized.

Ouch...you know, although my heart obviously goes out to the horse and it's family/ owners, I believe this is an example of why we shouldn't have such horse races-accidents are bound to happen at such high speeds.

As you can see from the photo, Horse Jockies are a cruel, short group of people who only care about winning the race at all costs. Does that sound familiar? Cruel woman who only cares about winning the race at all costs? Just kidding, mostly. Obviously there are many parallels that can be made here and you can make your own.

And speaking of that other race, there appears to be no end in sight.

Iron Man Opening

I just saw Iron Man, the newest Marvel Comic brand to explode on the Silver Screen. I say 7 out of 10..the other guys I saw the movie with gave it an 8 of 10: Bottom line is that it was good.

Robert Downey, Jr. really made this movie happen. The plot was pretty run-of-the-mill (war profiteer's brush with death gives him a conscience AND cool new powers) so it was essential that Downey do his thing here, adding some laughs and style to a flick that might be a bit lifeless otherwise.

Downey is a rare talent. I think we tend to underestimate him as an actor because of his flamboyant lifestyle and frequent comic sidekick roles, which can diminish his authority. Mick LaSalle of SF Chronicle got it right this week: he's so good it's almost like he's not acting, he's ad-libbing. He really can carry an entire movie. Check out A Scanner Darkly to see what I mean.

Not to say that the other actors didn't shine. Actually, Iron Man was brilliantly cast overall. Terrence Howard, another under-rated actor, had an amazingly straight-faced performance as the man-of-reason military general, ever loyal to his country but learning, like Iron Man, that friendship can transcend all loyalties. I haven't really seen him around since Hustle & Flow, and I hope I see more of him soon.

Jeff Bridges is brilliant as the token villain, but it still feels weird to watch him drink anything other than White Russians, a la Big Lebowski. Betrayal is a bitch.

Gwyneth Paltrow is cast as the obligatory hot worthless female. Weird. Comic movies, well comics, at least, have been on the vanguard of exploring identity and even civil and human rights (outcasts, minorities, etc.) but for some reason the comic movies of late have had laughably underdeveloped stock female leads- whose only functions are getting trapped, screaming, and wearing short skirts. (Hulk, Batman Returns, and worst of all, Kirsten Dunce in the Spiderman franchise).

Don't get me wrong; that's all good, but if these movies are supposed to be about identity and personal motive then let's really do it.

The special effects were stellar, thanks to The Orphanage of San Francisco. It was all CGI but it didn't even really look like it.

Next up: Indiana Jones.

Best Game Ever

Spring semester is officially over. What does that mean for me? For now, lots of this:


Grand Theft Auto IV is officially
the.
best.
game.

I love the fake TV channels that mock celebrity culture. My roommate just took a white girl on a date to a park and then shot her in the face. The screen then switches to a cinematic cutaway in which the date exclaims:

"Nico, I never knew you were so violent!"

Nothing soothes the soul like shooting your date in the face. I was personally expecting more sex from this game but we'll see what happens further along...