REACHING ACROSS THE VILE

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

I was one of the lucky Americans able to acquire a ticket to Obama's Swearing-In ceremony in D.C. in January. For time/money reasons, I probably won't be going. And now I'm not feeling so bad about it.

Obama has invited the mega-priest Rick Warren to speak. Some people who are positively inclined view it as a gesture of unity, of "reaching across the aisle." I think it was a mistake.

Rick Warren heads the hugely influential Saddleback Church, a giant evangelical institution based in Southern California.

Whatever- evangelicals are Americans- I get it. But Rick Warren is particularly vile in his public hate speech. He maintains and argues that homosexuality is a sin on par with incest, bestiality, etc. He was also behind California's Proposition 8 which banned gay marriage in California. He wields enormous power within and without California. In short, he has been hugely detrimental to the gay community. For many Americans he is a symbol of hatred.

His invitation to the ceremony shows a lapse in judgment by Obama. His political team is too savvy not to have foreseen the controversy Warren would bring. I believe the Obama administration made a cold political decision that evangelicals outnumber gays, who are loyal to the party anyway.

The invitation is very disrespectful to gays.

Gays have been fiercely loyal to Obama, who has maintained an imperfect record with regards to gay rights. He was mysteriously missing from the Prop 8 battle, he dodged a photo-op with Gavin Newsome supposedly to avoid association with "San Francisco values," and now he has invited an anti-gay icon to initiate his presidency. I am a little concerned.

Obama: in politics you don't always gets three strikes, and this counts as strike one.

CHRIS FARLEY: YOU ARE MISSED

Watch adam sandler lunch lady land in Funny Videos | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com



Trying out the new XBOX Netflix free download thing tonight- we watched 'Billy Madison,' which led me to dig up some old SNL clips for some of the international folk who had never seen the miracle of Chris Farley.

I know it goes without saying but, damn, I miss this guy so much. Watching the Lunch Lady Land video above reminds me why Chris Farley is so amazing.

He's fun and hilarious in a ways that aren't cynical or jaded, nor ever negative. He makes fun of himself, but even when it's self-depricating he's celebrating life. He's so powerful and yet he doesn't take himself too seriously. He's sooo talented but still he's having fun. Even though he clearly wasn't happy much of the time, he made everyone else smile. I'm sad he's gone but he had an effect, and we still have his legacy.

When I was searching around for him tonight, the first images that came up on Google (I wasn't prepared for this) were graphic close-up images of the deceased Farley on the carpet floor hours after his overdose. I won't elaborate, but needless to say it was grotesque and very jarring. For me this was a violent, perverted image of a fallen angel.

I don't know if there's anything to say about the loss of young talent. It seems to happen all the time, most recently with Heath Ledger. You can bet it will again sometime soon, it always does. Drugs and self-destruction always haunt the talented and famous.

With regards to legacy, though, how are you supposed to read it? What if you argue that, Chris Farley, for instance, was high on coke during most of his skits, maybe even movies, and that he wouldn't have been as funny or endearing if he'd been sober or if he'd lost 200 pounds. What if he didn't die and went on to ruin his name like Eddie Murphy or Madonna? How would Hendrix or Joplin or anyone else go on to live their lives? Or did they even want to?

Mildly trite questions I know, but when you see something like Chris Farley, and you miss him and love him so much, and on one hand you just want the best for him...but then you admit: you liked him with his life in disorder, he was a trainwreck but he was funny. That's the way you like him even if it means he had to die.

My friend Shanna once explained it to me as "cycles," I believe was the word. I was remarking (we were 22 at the time) about how the actor River Phoenix died younger than us and yet had such an accomplished/ artistic carreer, and we had done shit. Shanna told me not to worry because River Phoenix was just on a different cycle than us; his cycle was over and we were still in our own cycles; that we would make a legacy according to our own cycles.

I like this way of thinking because it kind of makes you more of an authority in your own destiny. And it also kind of takes the sadness out of untimely deaths; like the deceased was meant to die and was even complacent, perhaps, or willing.

Chris, you are missed buddy, and you'll always be here, even if it's only on YouTube.

KILLED BY LOW PRICES

THE NAME BEHIND THE FACE BEHIND THE EVIL

Today, in a rampant display of consumerism, a New York man was killed by a unruly crowd at a Walmart in Long Island. May he rest in peace. The story is roughly as follows.

On Thursday evening, even before many families had finished eating their Thanksgiving turkey, crowds began forming outside the Long Island Walmart in anticipation of the Black Friday sales that were to be taking place the next day. (Black Friday is a peculiar American holiday, the day after Thanksgiving, which marks the onset of the holiday shopping season. Sales and ravenous crowds are part of the spectacle.)

By 5:00 AM the next morning over 2,000 people had formed a mob in front of the store. When the workers inside tried to open the doors, the angry crowd surged forward and broke them down. They stampeded into the store en masse and trampled several workers. Some tried to reach the victims but were unable to because more shoppers walked on top of the already downed Walmart employees. In the end, one worker died and several were hospitalized, including an 8-month pregnant woman. When Walmart announced over the PA system that they would have to close the store for the day because of the death, the shoppers refused to leave the store and continued to shop.

A dismal display of humanity.

Walmart was quick to point that the man technically worked for a temp agency, not Walmart, per se, and that the incident could have happened at any store.

True, but Walmart has consistently shown a low regard for human values worldwide. Actually, Walmart is so unpopular in the area of California I live in they have been banned from building in many cities.

I never trust crowds, but you especially can't trust the ones looking for sales, because most the motivator for most Americans is material wealth. In this country, we put a premium on stuff. Walmart is the world's largest corporation because people want massive amounts of goods at the lowest price possible. Low price trumps everything. Walmart recently rebranded themselves with the slogan "Save Money Live Better." This connects the consumer's quality of life with Walmart's business model of offering the lowest prices.

I like low prices, but I don't necessarily think consumption is something that should be celebrated and turned into a holiday. Shopping is good enough. It's fun and it makes people happy, but there is a huge gap in knowledge between knowing this and gathering in front of a Walmart, waiting overnight in 30 degree cold and storming forward to buy some crappy plastic appliances that will all break in a month anyway, just because it's a group experience and it's tradition and TV cameras will be there, etc. At this point it's like some weird embarrassing cultural rite.

I've been trying to work on not being so negative lately, but just one more time:

What kind of a fucking loser waits overnight in the street to go shopping at Walmart?

I'll leave it at that. I hope no one dies next year but if someone has to at least let it be one of the shoppers.

TWO EXCELLENT FILMS

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

I don't know what it is about the end of the year (Oscar season, for one), but excellent movies abound. I've seen two great movies in the last few weeks. Two classics.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE [8.5/10]

This is Danny Boyle's new film ("Trainspotting," "28 Days Later") and watching this really made me want to check his other stuff more in depth. I also saw his recent "Sunshine" this year, which was a total surprise as it wasn't released widely in the U.S. Everyone, check that one out too.
So "Slumdog Millionaire" centers around the life of Jamal, a young street kid (or 'slumdog') of Bombay, India. His upbringing is brutal and obscene but somehow light moments shine through, and Jamal develops a remarkable percevierance. He's got spirit.

Through a series of crazy events Jamal ends up on the set of the Indian version of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire,' a total smash-hit television show. When he begins answering the questions correctly and progressing further in the game show, no one can believe it, including the corrupt police of Bombay. Soon we see though, question by question, how Jamal knows these seemin

gly esoteric bits of trivia, and more importantly, why he is what he is today. And did I mention this is a love story?

This is an excellent plot, interesting, culturally rich, suspenseful, and poignant. It's seriously got a bit of everything. It is unapologetically cheesy at points, but never sappy and never contrived, somehow. One of the few movies out there that will have you leaving the theatre hopeful and happy about life, and not ashamed to admit it. A+.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN [8.5/10]

Q: What do you need to know about 'Let The Right One In?"

A: Swedish Vampire Movie

Yes it's true. This is a swedish vampire movie and it's the shit. Most great horror movies are really talking about something besides blood, and this is no exception. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is about anarchy, "Night of the Living Dead" about capitalism, "The Shining" about isolation.

"Let The Right One In," like Steven King's "Carrie" is about bullying. Here lives Oskar, a young boy in rural Sweden (presumably before the end of the Cold War) who is kind of a loner, a loser. He is neglected/ mismanaged by his family and constantly picked on by his schoolmates.

When a young girl who only ventures out at night moves into the town, and people start dying, you know what's going on. She becomes friends with Oskar and their relationship becomes the focal point of the movie, even as the town searches for the killer and the kids' personal lives become more dire.

This is straight arthouse, complete with psychoanalysis to the core, cinematography that at times is so artful it could be out of a music video, and enough unanswered questions to leave you arguing with your friends after the movie. And the story is told with extreme discipline. And it's original. A+ work. Can't wait to watch it again.

KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE

Wow. It's hard to know where to begin here. So much of this space has been dedicated to covering the election, and now that it's over it feels weird to be writing again. But, really, nothing is over, and if anything this is the start of something big.


VICTORY


I've been following and supporting the candidacy of Barack Obama since before it was made official. Beginning with his emergence to the national scene I was deeply struck with how inspiring he was, how soaring his rhetoric was, and how he seemed different than any other mainstream politician of my lifetime.

I think, especially after the Bush years, we as a nation had become jaded and neutered by the actions of our government and its partners in the private sector. Even before 2001, the political and ruling systems were a distant blip on our radar screen. Like the teacher in Charlie Brown...."blabla bla bla bla..."

Barack Obama offered the kind of talk (and yes, words are important) that I had never heard before. He promised us more than anyone else and told us we were better than our current selves. He said he had faith that America could be a better nation. Yes, he was the "hope" candidate, a special breed of vibrant intellectual Democrats that run every election and always lose (Bill Bradley in 2000 and Howard Dean in 2004).

But something about Obama made him stick. The horrible state of everything made Americans, even Republicans, willing to listen. And the more he talked, the more people liked him. Electrifying everything further was the bubbling possibility of the country's first minority leader: a black president.

Once Obama started winning states in the primary I maintained he would win the presidency, even though I doubted it. The notion of him winning appealed to deep ideals and hopes I had, and I've learned that ideals and hopes usually get steamrolled by reality, especially when you're dealing with a huge American electorate.

But this time, ideals and hopes came together and made reality. On November 4, 2008 Barack Obama was elected president.

When I heard it announced I was watching online cable in my room, in the dark. MSNBC, I think, just flashed a graphic on screen that says something like "Obama wins Presidency" and the network pundits went silent for several minutes. The only images and sounds were the roar of the crowds at Grant Park in Chicago, where hundreds of thousands of people had gathered to celebrate the victory.

What was there to say? This was one of the poignant moments of my life. Obama's election was a rejection of so many things, not just from the last eight years in this country, but from the last three hundred. It was a celebration.

When I went down to the street from my apartment I saw the San Francisco streets taken over by thousands of people chanting, cheering, and lighting off fireworks. In my neighborhood, the Mission, they had to cut off traffic due to the celebrations. I never thought I would see the day when people in San Francisco would take over streets with American flags and chants of "U.S.A.," but I saw it that night on Nov 4.

It was a happy and cathartic night for us all.



DEFEAT



No discussion of the election, civil rights, etc. would be complete without discussing the passage of Proposition 8 in California, which will amend the state constitution to eliminate gay marriage.

Many people have asked me what I think about this, and what I think is that it sucks.

For me, having different institutions of unions for different types of Americans creates, psychologically, different classes of people. This hurts all gay people, whether or not they are planning on marrying. And those that are marrying, or who have already been married, really get shafted.

The election was bittersweet because Obama made it, which is great, but gays in California and other states didn't. I'd like to point out that Barack Obama is a product of interracial marriage which at the time of his birth was still illegal in many states. Presumably he may not have been born had his parents not met in Hawaii.

There has been a lot of noise made about the fact that the black vote that turned out strong for Barack Obama voted heavily, by over a 2 to 1 to margin, to ban gay marriage in California. This has sparked some divisiveness that is sad to see. Prop 8 is no single sector's fault (except for the Mormon church who can suck a dick for all I care).

I'm hoping to see the California Supreme Court or perhaps the US Supreme Court overturn it. If not that then we'll try another proposition in 2010. The fight is never over.



KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE



Obama has said that he isn't scared going into the presidency given the current unstable climate of pretty much everything. He said that he entered politics to make a difference and this is the best time to make a difference.

While I'm sure that's true, the fact is that things just seem to be getting worse everyday. Every time I wake up, I read about some new corporation filing for bankruptcy or cutting huge, huge numbers of jobs. Just today, CitiBank failed, and I'm sure other major banks will follow this week. The major players in the US auto industry will apparently also go bankrupt in less than one month.

There is no way the government can afford to bail out every major corporation or subsidize every industry that collapses in the next few years, because it seems that most of them will in some way.

I think we're in for a major overhaul in the way we do business. Clearly some huge changes will have to be made and clearly we have to be up to the challenge. Risky.

But with great risk comes great opportunity. We're in for a hell of a bumpy ride, and I'm more hopeful about our landing with this new leadership.

_

There is still racism in the country. There is still homophobia. People are still addicted to drugs and homeless still die on the street. Horrible things still happen everyday and they always will. And it is our job to make them better.

But the election of Barack Obama is something we can all be proud of. Something we should be proud of and something that should make us hopeful. We did this.

What can we do next?

NO WORDS

ONE MONTH

Who can believe that in just one month Americans will choose between John Gramps McCain and Barack Arugula Obama for president? On the eve of this important election, here are some things to watch for during the remainder of the campaign:

THE ECONOMY ATE MY HOMEWORK

By almost all indicators, America's economy is in crisis. This has helped Barack Obama take a solid lead over McCain. With the passage of the "baliout" in congress, will the economy seem to improve? Any continued deterioration, or the spreading of this meltdown from the markets to other economic sectors (i.e. "the real economy") will almost certainly ensure an Obama victory. For now, the economic clusterfunk seems to be in check, but we can't say anything further.


MCCAIN'S FOCUS

Will McCain continue to conduct his campaign mostly on substance? Sticking to the issues may be a losing strategy for McCain, since more Americans side with Obama than McCain on key points. The McCain camp may take the campaign in a more personal direction. Expect to hear much more about Reverend Wright, Obama's 'elitism,' etc. in the coming month.


SARAH PALIN?

With her better-than-expected performance at the veep debate, Sarah Palin has stopped the bleeding incurred from her embarrasing interviews with Katy Couric, but she isn't out of the shithouse yet. Palin is both uninformed and outspoken, which leaves for a high probability that she'll say something stupid in the coming month, especially when her guard is down. She is a quick learner, but seems constantly on the verge of verbal blunders. Keep your ears open.


ELECTORAL MAP

John McCain withdrew his campaign from Michigan this week, ceding the state to Obama. Electorally speaking, a McCain victory without Michigan seems very difficult. Basically, he'll need to pick up several states that are currently polling towards Obama, including Florida and Ohio. There are many things in many states that will need to go right this month for McCain to win.


MCCAIN THE VOLATILE

McCain has proved himself to be very volatile this month. Of course, we already knew that, but he really stepped it up with his varied extreme actions the week of the credit meltdown. McCain is like the guy at the party doing naked kegstands for attention; you never know what to expect. If he continues to slip in the polls, I predict he'll do something crazy to try to turn his campagin around. Maybe he'll say Bush betrayed our country, or propose a radical national envoronmental program. Don't expect the same boring slide downward to continue.


ABOVE THE GUTTER

For the most part, the dirtier, lower punches have stayed out of the mainstream campaign thus far. I think October could be a month where we see racism and bigotry make a more prounounced appearance in the race to the whitehouse. People calling Barack a Muslim, etc. could flare up, especially if neo-cons feel a loss is imminent.


BRADLEY EFFECT?

The former black mayor of Los Angeles, Tom Bradley, famously lost the 1982 governor's race in California despite being comfortably ahead in public polls, leading many observers to deduce that people understate their biases against minority candidates when polled. This "Bradley Effect" may have already been at play during the primary race, but what effect, if any, it will have in the general eletion is unknown.


THE XXX FACTOR

A terrorist attack, the death of a candidate's family member. These things are unpredictable and can alter the entire race. Still a month left of uncertainty.


AND THE HEADLINE IS

What will be the preeminent issue in this final month and how will it benefit either candidate? Likely, it will not continue to be the economy. How the public sphere, largely defined by the media, identifies these two men in realtion to current events and the lives of "ordinary Americans" will decide the race. What will be the headline in October, and what will it be on Nov. 5?

It's the economy, gramps

I find it hilarious that McCain is suddenly branding himself as an elder economic wiseman as the American free market falters. Let's flashback a few years:

"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated."

-Wall Street Journal, Nov 26, 2005

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin in an interview today bypassed the "R" word (Recession) altogether and flatly stated she feared America may be headed for another Great Depression.....

Not the most optimistic view...

And speaking of bizarre statements, what was with First Lady Laura Bush today? When pressed by reporters on Palin's qualifications; if she had enough experience in foreign policy to be president, Bush quickly responded, "of course she doesn't have that."

If thursday is "opposite" day then wednesday must be "honesty" day. Because this stuff is funny.

FUCK THE EURO

Dude! I remember buying my ticket to Europe around April and freaking out because I thought I would go bankrupt trying to get around Europe on the dollar. This was at a time when the dollar was basically in a free fall and experts were encouraging Americans to convert their dollars to Euros immediately to avoid devastating losses in value.

My, how a few months change things.

Now, just in time for my European trek, it is the Euro that has been in a free fall, hitting new lows everyday! Today the dollar is trading at about $1.38 to the Euro. That's down from like $1.85 earlier this year! Awesome!

Maybe N.W.A. will reunite for a new single: "Fuck the Euro." Cause that's what I'm singing right now.

American Beauty

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT THIS ALASKAN VIXEN?

Sarah Palin, the republican vice presidential nominee, was reportedly chosen because of her 'maverick' sensibilities and history of taking on the waste and bureaucracy in Washington. Even superficial analysis will expose this whacked-out hard right, scandal-embroiled ex-beauty queen as the neo-con she is.

ON HER EXECUTIVE/ MUNICIPAL EXPERIENCE:

Every time I hear the McCain camp boasting about Palin's vast experience as governor, I want to insert an asterisk. Palin has been governor for barely two years and Alaska is a tiny state with a total population less than the city of Columbus, Ohio. And while Alaska does maintain a small national guard, once active they are not under the authority of the governor.

Her experience as mayor came from serving two terms in Wisilla, Alaska a town of about 5,000 people... enough said.

ON CREATIONISM AND GOD

Sarah Palin believes that Creationism (which maintains that God created earth sometime around the construction of the Egyptian Pyramids) should be taught in public schools. She stated this belief as recently as 2006, in a gubernatorial debate, adding "don't be afraid of information."

She also told congregants of her evangelical church in June, 2008 (three months ago) that the Iraq war is a "task from God" and part of "God's plan."

OTHER HOT BUTTON ISSUES

Sarah Palin believes that climate change is not related to human activity.

Sarah Palin is committed to overturning Roe vs. Wade, and opposes abortion even in cases of rape.

ON FIGHTING FEDERAL WASTE/ EARMARKS/ SPECIAL FUNDING

In 2002, as mayor of Wisilla, again, a town of roughly 5,000 people, Palin hired RM&E, a powerful lobbying firm with connections to Congress, to secure $27 million in earmarks for the town.

As governor, Palin presided over requests for roughly $750 million in special funding to Congress--easily the highest per-capita requests in the country.

And while Palin frequently touts her opposition to the 'bridge to nowhere,' (which would become a national symbol for federal waste), she supported it running up to and during her first term as governor, only reversing her position once it was killed in Congress. Worse, Alaska still kept $233 million in funds for "other transportation needs."

SCANDAL

Yes, it's true. Dating back to her days in Wisilla, Palin has been embroiled in scandals involving unfair firing practices.

In Wisilla, she fired a barrage of city employees, including the town librarian, for "not supporting the administration." A lawsuit was filed but was later dropped.

More famously, Palin recently fired public safety commissioner Walter Monegan, allegedly, because he himself wouldn't fire a state trooper involved in a bitter divorce with Palin's sister. Palin sent a series of emails to the commissioner (recently made public) that complained, over and over, that the trooper had called Palin a "bitch" and that reminded the commissioner "no one's above the law."

Her attorney filed a motion to take the 'troopergate' investigation out of the state Legislature and before the state Personel Board, which were all appointed by the office of....governor; effectively filing an ethics complaint against herself.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Dem. Convention: It's Over.....

WRAPPING UP THE CONVENTION

It's officially over, and Mr. Obama is officially the Democratic Presidential Candidate.

Before I start reviewing the convention, I'd like to just interject and reflect on the feat that we just nominated a black man for our presidential candidate.

I think it's important to stop, step back for a second and really think about what has happened. Regardless of your party affiliation, I hope you can revel in the fact that we as a country appear ready to elect a black president. To me, the best part of America is the American Dream; the idea that you can do anything you dream of if you work hard and persevere, regardless of who you are. Barack Obama's ascendancy personifies that ideal and seeks to erase the ugliness of racism and bigotry. And that is something that can give us all hope, and pride. I am proud of America.

Anyhow, America some other time, for now it's back to the Democratic Convention, and it's candidate: Barack Obama.

The convention began following bad news for Obama: his once substantial lead on McCain had shrunk to almost a dead heat, with some polls showing McCain actually up by one or two points. Pollsters and pundits disagree on what caused this shift; but most agreed the public needed to "get to know" Barack better, which the Democratic Convention sought to do.

It's setting of Denver, Colorado underscored Obama's efforts to re-draw the electoral map by making inroads into the traditionally republican Mountain West. Conversely, the Republican Convention will be held in the Democratic-leaning Minnesota next week.

MONDAY

Monday was initiated by speeches from Ted Kennedy and Michelle Obama. Kennedy's speech was noteworthy because he is battling brain cancer and hasn't been seen publicly since his diagnosis. Nonetheless he came. His speech referenced a 1980 convention speech in which he famously stated "the dream will never die," saying Monday to "keep the dream alive." This was a political passing of the torch, from the old leadership of the party to the new leadership, and riled long-time democratic activists. I didn't think it was as "emotional" as did other observers, but that could be due to my icy cold heart. Kennedy was introduced by his niece Caroline Kennedy, the only surviving child of JFK, who may or may not be entering politics.

Michelle Obama's speech was wonderful, in my mind. Michelle Obama has been dodging accusations that question her patriotism, as well as right-wing rumors about her throwing around the racial epithet "whitey." Basically, she should be a beloved national figure, and she's not. Michelle is a successful, strong black professional woman who does not fit America's pedigree as first lady. This confounds some Americans whose disapproval manifests as these rumors, i think.

Anyhow her speech painted her as the lovable family mom, who loves her daughters, just a down-home girl. When she finally said "....and that's why I love my country!" the crowd rose to a standing ovation. The image her her and her daughters saying hi to satellite - Obama really drove it home: This could be our next first family.

TUESDAY

Tuesday's headliner was the ancily-awaited Hilary Clinton. Her major task was to try to pursued her 18 million supporters to back Obama, as recent polls showed 30% of them still uncommitted. Her speech was praised by the media, but I wasn't as impressed.

If her task was to big-up Obama, why did she talk about herself for 90% of the time? Now that I think about it, there was very little memorable about it, even if it did make Bill Clinton cry.

One thing I thought was weird was when she said "And Barack Obama believes that" and then she just outlined her own health care plan, which is different from his. But whatever, she did her duty, I guess.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday featured Bill Clinton, who I thought had a better speech than Hilary. He said "Last night, Hilary told you in no uncertain terms that she will do everything she can to elect Barack Obama....that makes two of us. Actually, that makes 18 million of us." Memorable and simple. Good Speech.

I didn't stick around to hear Joe Biden's VP speech, but I'm sure it was feisty and full of attacks on McCain, which is essentially what he was hired to do.

THURSDAY

Barack Obama made his acceptance speech at Broncos Stadium in front of a crowd of 75,000, on the 40th anniversary of Dr. King;s I Have a Dream speech. The standards were impossibly high, but he performed decently- the media loved it, and it was a strong speech.

I am a fan of Obama's itellectual/ rhetorical speeches, and this one was very much centered around policy and attacking McCain, which was really his only choice, at this venue. He said "America: we're better than the last eight years." which was pretty memmorable. Good enough.

The convention was also dotted with celebrity entertainers, including Stevie Wonder, The Black Eyed Peas, Sheryl Crow, and John Legend.

I find it extremely odd that Daddy Yankee, the Puerto Rican reggaeton musician who's always rapping about pussy, is performing next week at the Republican Convention. Apparently he is a republican and backs McCain...maybe he'll rap that 'Gasolina' song where he talks about how the girls can't get enough of his "gasoline".....apparently McCain can't get enough of his gasoline.

It will be interesting to see what kind of a poll bounce Obama will get...McCain is announcing his VP choice tomorrow, an effort to squash any news domination Obama would receive from his speech, and also to defer news stories about his birthday, which could renew concerns about his age: 72.

One last note about these convetions, look at the differences in the stages at the republican and democratic conventions:

DEMOCRAT STAGE | REPUBLICAN STAGE

The democratic stage looks like it could be a set from American Idol. The republican stage looks like something circa 1941 Germany, except for the huge American flag.

Alright that's more than enough campaign stuff for me.......PEACE

Ben Stiller: NOT FUNNY

I just want to get this off my chest: Ben Stiller is not funny.

I was astounded to read the countless reviews of the recently released Tropic Thunder, a product of Stiller's, not only because they were generally praiseful, but that many seem to regard Stiller of something of a comic genius, up there with the greats.

Ben Stiller has never been funny.

His comic spark comes from being the 'normal guy.' He is the 'normal guy' who is only funny because of his reactions to the surrounding chaos and comedy in the same way that David Spade was funny as being the "normal guy" next to the inanity of Chris Farley, although Spade is far more talented than Stiller.

All of Stiller's supposed comic peaks (think: eying semen in Cameron Diaz' hair, taking Robert De Niro's over-the-top lie-detector test) have involved Stiller trying to stay straight faced, cool, i.e. 'normal' in the face of unbelievable sillyness. His proximity to other comic talents tricks people into thinking he, in fact, is funny. But being normal isn't funny. That's just normal.

And I know people always say, "But what about Zoolander? What about Zoolander?" To these people I say: if you really think carefully about the movie, you'll realize that his character was funny, not Stiller himself. Stiller isn't capable of anything explicitly funny.

If you desire further proof go watch Tropic Thunder, which was co-written and directed by Stiller. Aside from the cameos by Tom Cruise, and a few other quick laughs, the movie was pretty bad. Watching it was an interesting peek into Stiller's chronically unfunny mind.

First off, it was incredibly self-indulgent. Just because it's 'making fun' of Hollywood, it's still about Hollywood and is thus a vehicle for these same actors to carry out their bloated caricatures yet again. But whatever.

The supposed comic climax comes in a scene when Robert Downey Jr. (who rather pointlessly plays a black man) explains to Ben Stiller the merits of playing a "retard" in Hollywood while repeating the word over and over.

I can just see Stiller, sitting up in his Unfunny Throne thinking "hmm, yeah, kids say 'retard' these days; that's the lingo. That's it! I'll totally use that in my movie and that will make it funny, and it will prove I'm still down." Well, Ben, it was incredibly unfunny and it felt very forced. If Downey can't even make it funny, then you suck.

Anyhow, I could talk more about the movie, but I won't...

As Stiller ages, I predict he will go to further lengths to stay in the comedic spotlight. He clearly needs, personally, to be in this spotlight.

This is one fall from grace that's not going to be pretty to watch...nor funny.

Weird California

California is weird. I remember growing up, my dad would always say: "You're going to end up in California; you're a California guy."

Then I would get mad and be like "No, no. I'm going to be on the East Coast!" I imagined myself in Boston or New York. In my mind I was going to go to Harvard or one of those schools and then become a roller coaster designer. That was my dream job for most of my childhood: a roller coaster designer.

Needless to say, life turned out differently. Here I am, in California, which I love, by the way, but which I also must note is a bit weird.

The weekend started off typically weird in California, with some very strange men holding a press conference in Palo Alto about their "Bigfoot" discovery. They preempted the meeting by releasing some strange looking photos of a Bigfoot carcass they said they had preserved on ice:



Unfortunately for us Bigfoot enthusiasts, they offered no evidence whatsoever at the meeting, and were quickly thereafter revealed to have staged Bigfoot hoaxes in the past. An online costume company also made a statement saying the photo looked suspiciously similar to a Bigfoot body costume they sold on their website...

My friend Matt said it best: why would you even stage that? It's like literally you get your 15 minutes, but its not even 15 minutes of something good, it's like 15 minutes of you being an idiot, and then people remember you as a douche bag for the rest of your life.

I'm still holding out for proof of Bigfoot.

Then, earlier this weekend, in busy downtown San Francisco, people found an adult manta ray flapping around Market Street, which finally died in the hot sun:


I don't really know what to think about this. I assume someone put the manta ray there, although whom or for what reason....? Maybe someone just threw it out their car while driving, discarding it like one would a cigarette butt. But I wouldn't get to close to it, I mean, next month is the two-year anniversary of the late Steve Irwin's untimely death by stingray. I, for one, do not trust these animals.

Anyhow I thought that was weird.

Then on Saturday evening, in Southern California (Orange County) some famous pastor, Rick Warren, who runs the nation's largest Evangelical church, also in California, hosted a live forum between pres. contenders Barack Obama and John McCain.

Obama spent Sunday in San Francisco, I believe.

interjection: George Bush has never visited San Francisco as president. He will be the first modern president never to have visited the city. San Franciscans will vote on an official measure to rename its municipal sewage plant the "George W. Bush Sewage Plant" in November.

Anyhow, I didn't watch this televised forum but I heard that Obama underperformed. Anyone who has been watching his campaign lately knows that he's been stumbling. I'll hold off on too much criticism and just hope the convention helps him out a bit. McCain apparently came off as something of a war-czar...and he has been more and more pro-war seeming lately. He made some particularly belligerent comments about Russia last week...

Grampa's gonna have to calm down unless he wants a time out.

In other political news it was revealed today, Sunday, that the LDS Church has decited to mobolize for the passage of California's Proposition 8, which would ban gay marriage in California. The LDS is a hugely moneyed and deeply organized machine so this could potentially be pretty important.

It's weird, I find myself defending Mormons more often then not. I feel like they get picked on for their eccentricities while many other Christians get a free ride. They're somewhat of an easy target.

But you must fight fire with fire. This Prop. 8 business is going to get ugly, and if the Mormons want a fight, they will get one. I mean, a Missionary vs. a Bulldyke, I think we all know who would win there.

Hey Mormons: If you want to play hardball, I'm game!

Meanwhile the Bay Area was taken over by the mammoth Hip-Hop Festival Rock the Bells. I missed it but I'm sure it was amazing. One of my friends ran into Mos Def at a gallery earlier today, and apparently they were both wearing the same Member's Only jacket!! Sooo awesome!

So yeah it's weird here but it's exciting and stimulating and inspiring too. They say San Francisco is the City on the Edge of the World...and as we all know I like living on the edge. ZIIIIIIIINNNNGGG!!!

In the works....

I have begun to work on an idea that's been on the back burner for a while; writing a short story. Without giving too much away, the story will focus the life of a pregnant serial killer. Obviously, it's going to be a bit "weird" but hopefully funny, exciting, or suspenseful, or a combination of these things...

Barack is a f**cking a**hole

Barack. I thought I had friends! Tonight is a friday in San Francisco and there were two unrelated groups of friends who I couldn't call because I got into uncivil debates defending you...and effectively suspended my friendships with them! And for what?? Remind me why I'm supporting you? So you can spy on us? Expand faith programs? Support gun rights? ...you get the point.

As many have said, it's one thing to move to the right, it's another to change the spirit of your candidacy. And unfortunately, it's a surprise to no one that for the first time in the general election, today the CNN Poll of Polls has indicated a shift towards McCain that reduces your lead to a mere 1% advantage.

Barack, get your shit together. Your popularity was based on action away from the status quo from the very beginning. It is a fatal mistake to run a traditional campaign at this point. Get back to your roots and refocus... for all of us.

LOSING A FRIEND

CODY'S BOOKS: 1956-2008

Berkeley's legendary Cody's Books will be officially going out of business on June 20. Many knew the end was coming: its flagship Telegraph Ave. store closed in 2006 and the financial troubles facing Cody's had been known for years.

This is a story about Cody's legacy, but it is also a story about urban development. And since you can read so much about Cody's legacy elsewhere, I decided to look a bit into the circumstances surrounding the closure of this important institution.

We've heard this tale before; a beloved local business--family owned, lets say--establishes itself over years as a part a community's cultural fabric. Something unique or outstanding about this business makes it one of the places you would, for instance, take out-of-towners to showcase your town or city. But as years go by things happen. Rents go up, commerce centers change, tastes change, and the big businesses keep coming. Unable to compete in the "new economy," the institution is forced to close and the collective hearts of a community are broken.

SO...
What can anyone do?

Sometimes, admittedly, nothing. But other times, there are things we can do. And sometimes the things we can do are enough to keep something really cool around...

In my hometown of Boise, Idaho lies a very special movie theater called The Egyptian Theatre. Built in 1927 as part of the Egyptian Revival Movement after the discovery of King Tut's Tomb, this theater is about as close to a heart as Boise has. I mean, this is the place where you went on your first date. This is the place where you made out in the back row, the place where you went with your parents with wild-eyed excitement to watch Indiana Jones slash his way through the Temple of Doom. The place you smuggled in plastic spiders to throw off the balcony during Arachnophobia. This is it. This was our rock...

...and it was resilient. It survived all the 'urban renewal' of the 70s where all the other classic/ historic downtown single-screen movie theaters were demolished or transformed into other businesses. It was just always there and seemingly always would be.

But by the late 90s the theater was showing some serious age. Money for upkeep and renovation apparently wasn't there and the theater was increasingly empty during shows. Around the same time a California-based theater chain, Edwards Cinema, had built a whopping 21 screen cineplex on the outskirts of town. Boiseans flocked accross town to the flash and glitz of Edwards 21. The screens were bigger, selection broader; even their popcorn, according to promoters, had won popcorn awards.

And as if to add insult to injury, one of the four super-sized Theme Screens in the new cineplex was named "The Egyptian," complete with neon-esque hieroglyphics and pharoah paintings that looked eerily similar to the paintings in the downtown 1927 Egyptian; our Egyptian.

Soon after Edwards 21 opened, the Cineplex Odeon group withdrew from operation of the Egyptian and the theater lay dormant. Ironically, the final film to flicker across the Egyptian's screen was The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser.

I remember actually watching The Mummy at The Egyptian--at that point I didn't know it was going to close. The one thing that really sticks out in my memory is leaving the theater. I remember looking around as I walked out and feeling a deep sadness. The place was trashed; there was garbage everywhere and one of the entire handrails had come unbolted from wall and lay carelessly on the floor. It was like looking into the eyes of your favorite horse, injured from losing a race, who you knew was about to be euthanized. There was an eerie quietness leaving that theater.

But when news hit that Cineplex Odeon was withdrawing operation, people were anything but defeatist. If there's one thing that's true about all Boiseans, all Idahoans really, it's that we have Rally Power. We've got comeback. There was a veritable movement against its closure: "Not here!" "The Egyptian is ours!" "Let the city buy it!"

And through details that still remain fuzzy, The Egyptian's ownership was able to arrange a new group of operators, moneyed operators, who not only took over operations but who engaged a massive, three-month restoration project of the entire theater.

THE EGYPTIAN THEATRE, BOISE, IDAHO

LEFT: 1927 RIGHT: 1999

The Grand reopening at The Egyptian was a beautiful and happy week for Boise. In addition to sprucing up the theater itself, the operators also diversified The Egyptian's events schedule to bring in a bigger clientele.

Today the Egyptian operates seven days a week and screens everything from current Hollywood blockbusters to cult classics as well as hosting bands, lectures, and private parties. Conversely, the Edwards Cinema chain acquired a massive debt after its hasty expansion and filed for bankruptcy in 2000.

This is one happy success story that I admit bears little resemblance to the issues facing such businesses/ institutions as Cody's Books. Yet it remains worth sharing because 1.) it is a happy story and 2.) it demonstrates that with focus and swiftness a city can save something it really loves.

The problem here is that the city of Berkeley lacks both swiftness and focus...among many other things. People can say that the closing of Cody's is marketplace-driven, and in some ways, it is. 

Yes, today many people choose to buy books online and fewer people than ever are venturing into book stores. But fewer people than ever are going stores, period. I would also like to point out that a Barnes and Noble Books closed a store almost directly across the street from Cody's final book store on Shattuck Ave. around six months before Cody's did.

No, the problem with Berkeley is that it has no attractive commercial centers. Telegraph Avenue, in particular (Berkeley's signature avenue that runs directly into the University and was historically its commercial center) has fallen into utter decay. It has something like a 40% vacancy rate, is overrun with drug addicted and mentally disabled homeless people, and is deserted after sunset.

Shattuck Avenue isn't much better. For some reason, this city has let the streets become a place where anyone can do whatever they want wherever they want. Berkeley accounts for just 7% of the total population of Alameda County yet houses 49% of the county's homeless. And unfortunately, the Berkeley City Council (and others) spend more time championing 'homeless rights' than they do helping/ rehabilitating/ training/ finding housing for the homeless. It is one thing to be sympathetic and charitable to the homeless, which hopefully we all are. It quite another to idealize homelessness, considering the substance abuse, mental hazards, and physical risks that go hand in hand with being homeless. It's irresponsible but its also pretty twisted and disgusting, too

In addition to the aforementioned issue of "pedestrian comfort" are Berkeley's inane business laws. Zoning laws, environmental reviews, public hearings and taxes, taxes, taxes. Even though Berkeley's public stance (and several passed ordinances) read "anti-corporate/ big businesses," the city has essentially given the middle finger to small businesses in the form of countless one cent taxes here, two cent taxes there and a mind-boggling complicated and lengthy set up process.

Even assuming a well-meaning small business owner in Berkeley could afford the prohibitively expensive rent, the city council is sure to kill a project with its bureaucracy. When the Berkeley Bowl (a beloved Berkeley grocer that sells affordable fresh food to South Berkeley) announced plans to expand to the under-served, working-class West Berkeley neighborhood, the city was elated and the plan seemed like a no-brainer. Unfortunately, Berkeley's internal approval process took four years and the owners were so frustrated they considered scrapping plans. Due to public outrage and media attention, a last minute deal was reached.

Isn't the role of government to ensure that good things happen/ keep happening? Not to kill something good when it does pop up or sit idly by as a cherished institution dies a slow death.

There are other great businesses on Telegraph that still operate but I suspect are in trouble; Ameoba Music and Looking Glass Photo among them. A high-up associated with Ameoba Music was quoted in 2006 in an article about Cody's Telegraph closure as saying that business at the Telegraph Store had been particularly bad.

I lived in Berkeley for four years and I'd hate to see everything cool there close. But unfortunately it is largely inhabited and run by crazy people. And I can't do anything about that.

Open letter to all hipsters:

Hella hipsters looking hella obscure and emotional.

I thought Juno was the hipsterist movie I've ever seen, and while I still think it is, DAMN I just saw a pretty fucking hipster movie, The Puffy Chair.

See, there is a movie coming out within the next few weeks called Baghead. It looks awesome, totally Sean of the Dead style in that its looks funny and scary, so I thought I'd rent their first movie, The Puffy Chair, and check out their style (plus it got really good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes).

Well, if Baghead is anything like The Puffy Chair, then I'm going to be sad, because The Puffy Chair is one big pile of hipster indie shit- complete with its hipster indie soundtrack and everything!

Watching this movie made me wonder what it is about hipsters and their expressions of art that I and many others find so offensive. I mean, go around San Francisco, Portland, any city and talk to people in their 20s and 30s and you'll find that everyone hates hipsters and loves to talk about how much they hate them...yet everyone kind of is a hipster. I mean, looking at myself: I go to art school, I look a little slobby sometimes, I live in The Mission in San Francisco. What I'm saying is that unlike athletes or vegans, for instance, hipsters avoid identifying themselves as hipsters...I've never heard anyone boast: "Well I'm more hipster than he is."

Yet I think there really are two ways you can identify a hipster: clothes and music. Hipsters have a very specific way of dressing and very specific musical tastes which reflect their tiny and shriveled brains.

After watching this film I have created a list of questions for The Duplass brothers (directors of The Puffy Chair [big surprise they live in Brooklyn]) and to all hipsters in general:

WHY ARE HIPSTERS SO OBSESSED WITH RELATIONSHIP DRAMA?
Hipsters are not obsessed with relationships, but with relationship drama. Listen to their music or watch their movies and you'll see that their lives center around intra-personal relationships and the turbulence surrounding them. On a personal level, I can understand; I don't mind listening to a hipster friend talk way to long about some relationship and read way too much into everything. Whatever. What I don't understand is this obsession as manifested in art. I mean, it takes a pretty huge ego to think you can make a whole album about your various relationships, your inner feelings about them, and that this is somehow worthy of having the world pay to listen to it.

WHY DO HIPSTERS LOOK FOR MEANING WHERE THERE IS NONE?
What I mean is because of hipsters' bloated sense of self, they dwell on trivial issues that are unimportant to the rest of us. For instance, in Star Wars after the famous "Luke, I am your father" line, there is a pause in the movie to let this monumental bombshell sink in with the viewers, and there should be. In The Puffy Chair, as in many situations with hipsters, there will be vast periods of silence and deep ponderings about such trivial issues as breakfast. Hipsters don't know that you can't just say something mundane and pause for reflection because you come off as either retarded or extremely hallow.

WHY DO HISTERS TALK WEIRD?
Hipsters actually sound different when they talk. For one thing they end every sentence going up in tone. Like everything's a question??? They also talk sloowerr to stretch out their boorringgg thoughhhttss. They also try to talk cutesy at times, especially the female ones. Like in The Puffy Chair this girl keeps slipping into a baby voice when talking to her boyfriend which I just find so disgusting. Hipster musician Joanna Newsome is also guilty of this offense.

WHY ARE HIPSTERS SO SLOVENLY?
Why have hipsters actually made a sloppy appearance a part of their personal style? Actually, hipsters would probably prefer I say lack of style instead of style, because they're soooo busy starting bands and doing obscure craft projects and being different that they just don't have time to wash their shoes.....or comb their hair....or iron their shirt...or shave their unruly beard (many hipsters have unruly beards). This is what hipsters want the world to believe: that they are such authentic, real, confident, unique flowers that spend their time on psychically important stuff that they just don't have time for their appearance; and furthermore that fashion/ personal style itself is a meager and shallow form of expression that is propagated by the mainstream and The Corporations.

WHY ARE HIPSTERS ALWAYS IN SHITTY BANDS?
I know of no other sect of the population that is consistently involved with shitty music like the hipsters are. Not just the content of their songs (whiny intra-personal relationship drama and deep feelings) but actual shitty music. For one thing the male vocals are always so high pitched and often very cutesy as well. That stems from their androgyny. Hipsters lack gender identity when compared to the rest of us. That's why many straight male hipsters seem gay. Their tight black pants, obsession with feelings, and effeminate mannerisms all scream gay homosexual. But I digress. Just because a hipster doesn't have any talent won't stop them from creating a band, like it would for a normal person. Because of their bloated sense of self they think they are owed all the attentions of the world. And to showcase their obscurity a band must have at least one non-tradition instrument, such as a viola or an accordion, and an obscure name that has no relationship to anything, like Architecture in Helsinki. FUCK HIPSTER MUSIC.

WHY DO HIPSTERS PRETEND TO BE POOR?
All hipsters, no matter what their socioeconomic status, pretend to be poor. Why should I care? Because it's dishonest. The thing that bothers me most about hipsters is their dishonesty. Nothing about them is real, it's all gimmicky and hallow. As my friend Will once said about their music: "That's not even real music." In The Puffy Chair, the protagonist makes a point to mention he's poor...but wait wait it's all good because he's a booking agent for bands; i.e. he's doing something cool and real instead of making money- he made a principled choice. I suppose hipsters think that appearing poor will give them an edge, will lend some authenticity or grit to their persona, to their message. They're particularly interested in adopting into kitchy, low-middle class Americana (PBR, late-night diners). And also, to them material wealth represents the aforementioned "mainstream" and The Corporations. Ultimately appearing poor furthers the hipster's everlasting fight to be alternative... anything one can do to be more different; to not fit in- even if all hipsters are straight white people from the suburbs.

I could go on and on but I won't. I have so many questions for the hipsters, not to genuinely find out information, but to engage them in a dialog that I believe they're not having with themselves. I know I should just ignore them but I am surrounded by them. I see them everyday walking down the streets. I hear them at my school. At my critiques. I watch them date the people I have crushes on.

I see them trying so hard, even winning. And I am here to rain on their parade.

NI**ER...?

LEFT: Original Album Artwork RIGHT: Modified Album Artwork

For those of you unfamiliar with the controversy surrounding Nas' latest album, it is roughly as follows:

Hip-hop superstar Nas sought to release his latest album with the title Ni**er. However, prior to release the plan was floated around by some heavyweights, and certain chain stores and radio station said they'd never sell/ play an album with such a title. Some fans also expressed discomfort. Thus it was decided by Def Jam Records, Nas himself, or both to change the title of the album to "Untitled"...or "Nas" depending on who you ask. Right now people seem to be referring to it as "Nas' 9th Album."

According to Nas: "The people will always know what the real title of this album is and what to call it."

Now, while much or all of the controversy has centered around the actual title of the album, I find the album artwork highly interesting. As jarring as the original artwork is, I believe that the new, modified artwork is actually more shocking, more memorable, and more powerful.

Because of what happened with the album's title, the new artwork has a context; it's very existence is reactionary. It's very existence tells a story. And without doing so explicitly, it engages the viewer in the exact way that Nas sought to originally. I for one, think this will be one of the most remembered and acclaimed album covers in the history of modern music.

Obviously, album covers throughout time have used provocative imagery. Being provocative is one of the most important things artists can do. One of my own album covers used cocaine, and I still feel awkward showing it to people even though I feel it is one of my strongest works. And artists know you can find this strength through confrontation.

What makes Nas' cover unique is that, unlike other provocative albums, he didn't plan using provocative imagery; he had to transfer his message from verbal language to visual language due to market censorship. I say market censorship because in the United States we might not overtly censor like the Chinese do, but we cut off your funds. And because we are a market-driven society, when the funds leave a project, the project is dead. People like Bill Oreilly will call for a boycott of a product/person/business or Walmart will declare a product/person/business 'too political.' Shareholders get scared and the project dies. So yes, there are constraints. One performance art teacher I had told me that the first step in any piece of performance art is to know the rules of the game and know how to use them to your advantage. If you can operate within the constraints, you can win.

In a way this whole Nas thing is like a giant performance art piece. I would have liked to have seen it stay the way it was, but I see how certain people could be upset with seeing that word in public, in a store with their children, etc.

People really just don't want to talk about race. It's become like religion in that its practically considered rude, certainly taboo, to discuss in polite conversation. People are having to confront their prejudices and hesitance to understand race faster and harder than they expected, or wanted to.

Every 18 months or so some racial scandal breaks out: Don Imus, Kramer, or whoever will say something racist and conclude their apology with something along the lines of: "and I'm happy we're now having a dialog about this issue, which we are finally confronting."

Then nothing happens. People keep their prejudices internalized, stay polite, and the world keeps on turning.

However, I believe the ascendancy (and hopefully election) of Barack Obama has and will do a great deal to further Americans' ability not to look past race, but to understand it. If anything, the PC movement to treat everyone as colorblind and to ignore race was not just a failure but a detriment to all race relations.

And what a great segue this is, as today Nas' fresh new track "Black President" was leaked onto the internet. It is a response to Barack Obama's recent clench of the Democratic Nomination. It can be heard below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-koZhS5urrA

...When Doves Cry

Is it finally the end of the road? After tonight's final primaries in South Dakota and Montana, probably. Of course, Hilary is always full of surprises- like that time she showed all those news reporters her balls.

But it's pretty much over, and now she is apparently saying she wants to be Obama's VP?? Hilary just needs to go back to the Senate. She and her shifty husband comprise a toxic brew that cannot be trusted in the White House. They would stop at nothing, including assassination, to get to the number one spot.

A wise man, I believe it was The Rock, once defined integrity as "doing the right thing when no one's looking." If the Clintons consistently do the wrong thing when people are looking, what kind of sick, twisted, scandalous shit are these two up to behind the scenes??

Don't do it, Barack; your life depends on it.

RACIST!!

Everytime I return to Boise, Idaho, I am pleased too see a more and more ethnic city. Of course, Boise is still overwhelmingly white and will always be a 'mountain west' town, but seeing a little color in my home town makes me happy. And, thankfully, there never seemed to be any tension with this growth....

Then one night, with a group of people walking by a popular downtown bar, a one friend says to another "You're going to have to put that hat on straight if you go in there."

Confused, I asked more and found out that this particular bar, Mac and Charlie's, enforces a seemingly anti-African-American dress code:

No Doo Rags
Excessively Baggy Clothing
Team Jersey's
Wife Beaters
Hats on Straight (Front or Back)
Any Attire deemed unfit by Door Staff

Now, when I asked the bouncer he said it was deter fights, and alluded to gangs. However, Boise does not have a gang problem and frankly the few fights I've seen in Boise have been between drunk BSU jocks.

The only Boiseans I've seen that dress the way alluded to in the 'dress code' are African Americas; in other words, Boise does not have a sect of white youth that dress in the urban black style, so this sign seems clearly aimed at blacks.

Thus, I can only assume there are sinister undertones. Racist? Obviously not overtly so, but the first blatant sign I've seen of possible tension...

Whippety Wack!!

I don't really know how to start talking about the new Indiana Jones. Primary because my own viewing experience was ruined by watching Peter Traver's video review of the movie, in which he (apparently because of his pissed-offedness from the film's crappiness) gives away a crucial plot surprise. I guess he didn't want people to see it.

I still think people should see it. I mean, people like to talk shit; especially critics. If we listened to all the warnings we heard about the world, sure we might not get pregnant or get STDs, but we would miss out on some pretty good adventures, too. As a friend of mine once told me about the dangers of Oakland, California; "Sure, Oakland's got a death toll, but it's got a life toll, too."

So how much life is there in the new Indiana Jones flick?

[realizes glass is half empty]

The movie hella sucked balls. A sad day for the franchise, indeed. And I had such high hopes...

I don't know how to pinpoint exactly what went wrong with the new Indie, especially without giving anything away. Most easily put: there wasn't any reason to make it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those anti-franchise commies that go around hating on all remakes. I mean: Rocky, Harry Potter, Friday the 13th, Batman...they keep rolling out good flicks again and again. But they don't keep saying the same thing over and over- and even if they do, they say it in a different way.

While watching Indie IV, I saw the same actors from the same movies doing the same stunts, saying the same shit, and even having the same relationships with basically the same friends and enemies as I had before, when it was actually fresh: sixteen years ago. Even the sets looked curiously similar.

I think what happened is that Lucas and Spielberg just wanted to make more money. Everything from the dialog to the plot to the acting seems so forced and scripted that the whole thing just feels like an afterbirth. They had a chance to inject some energy with newcomer Shia LaBeouf, but all he does is act like a dumb sidekick the whole time.

All my friends kept talking about how bad it was going to be, and I was the one who was still excited. And there are some good things about it, to be sure. They just got flushed down the drain with the rest of it.

Fuck the Pope

So where is the Pope this week and what is he doing? Acting on the recent natural disasters in Burma and China that have killed more than 100,000 and 50,000 people, respectively, you ask? As the 'humanitarian' and 'world leader' that Catholics and others like to exalt him as, one might think so. But no, he's spent his energy on more pressing matters.

Speaking in a meeting organized for several European institutions the day after California's supreme court ruling that legalized gay marriage in California, Pope Benedict spoke out pointedly against gay marriage, saying, among other things, that the "good" of heterosexual marriage must not be "substituted by, confused with, or compared to other types of unions." He also stated that the "non-traditional" families are not "the natural cradle of human life."

Now, I try to apply the tenants of tolerance in all directions; that is- not just to racial, sexual, and cultural minorities, but also to those that urban liberals themselves like to lambaste- to Republicans, to "hicks," to Christians. Even though I have major problems with The Church, for instance, I've tried to be fair about my criticisms, especially in the public sphere.

But a flash point occurs when your respect for a figure's title and reverence is surpassed by the damage you see rising from their power.

Pope Benedict is a decrepit, bigoted, Naziish (as in served in Germany's Nazi Party) piece of shit whose backwards thinking angers me. That the Catholics would elect him as their leader is, depressingly, not a surprise. This is the church, after all, that has been on the wrong side of human progress for 1,000 years, from discoveries in astronomy and chemistry back in the day, to medical gene therapy, AIDS in Africa, gay rights, and women's rights today.

What is distressing to me isn't that another old crazy in the Vatican thinks differently about marriage than I. It's the Vatican's venomous, ever-increasing reach into public policy. In California, for instance, I assume that at least a million voters are significantly impacted by such statements from the Pope. And with a statewide ballot slated for November aiming to again make gay marriage illegal, these speeches have a hugely negative impact. Not to mention their strengthening of general homophobia which manifests in prejudice and violence.

The timing of such statements in the wake of double catastrophic disasters in China and Burma make them all the more maddening. Even Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been in close touch with Chinese officials offering condolences and help in the wake of their country's devastating earthquake. Where the fuck were you, Pope Benedict?

Burma, in particular, would have been a place the Pope could have used his power for good. Other than a brief telegram, we heard nothing from the Vatican on this. Now we have scores dying from lack of life support. The Burmese leaders, tragically stubborn and distrustful of foreigners, are literally turning away food and aid while thousands die within. This is a critical time for institutions like the U.N., like the NGOs, like The Vatican to impel leaders to do the right thing; to let in aid.

I'll admit that such a plea probably wouldn't have changed anything, but the fact that there wasn't one at all reveals a startling mismatch of priorities by The Church.

Actually, to be fair, The Church did release one more major statement during this tragic week (in addition to the anti-gay rhetoric). What was it: Earthquakes or Hurricanes? Actually neither, but that it is now OK to believe in aliens. Yes, aliens as in extra-terrestrials...

It's crazy and it should be funnier than it is.